So you’ve been in a relationship for a while, perhaps even a marriage and what seems like all of a sudden your beloved is deflecting your advances. There hasn’t been an argument or stress factor that you are aware of and yet your pursuit for fiery passion keeps getting extinguished. What’s really going on here? Maybe there’s more to it than what meets the mouth.
I’m Too Tired – If you are the partner saying this, I suggest you get un-tired. Don’t expect your lover to be left hanging in the balance very long before they start making friends with those who are more awake. If you are the partner hearing this excuse (and believing it night after night) it’s time for you to do some soul-searching. What’s going on in your relationship that is blocking the flow of intimacy? Check your communication levels and set out to create some dialog on where you may be missing the mark. Instead of dwelling on the rejection, dig deep to see where adjustments need to be made.
Not in the Mood – If you are the one declaring this one, it may be time for you to take responsibility to get yourself into the mode for getting into the mood. Be creative, think of your partner and dwell on that which will bring them delight! When we default into making excuses in the bedroom, chances are that pattern spills over into other areas of life as well. Perhaps it’s time to focus on how our moods are affecting those around us and not be so self-centered. If you are the lover languishing in the corner, use this lesson to dig for ideas that will enhance your partner’s longing. Spruce up the place, light a candle and slap some make up on that face!
Just Don’t Feel Like It – Well, by now perhaps you have realized that both parties are responsible. Take to heart there is a hitch in your giddy up and make time to talk it through or walk it out hand-in-hand. Feeling rejected and bitter will only add to the chasm that is trying to further divide you.
Feelings come and go, relationships change and life is never the same two days in a row. So come out of the slumber, acknowledge that neglect may have been on both sides, but don’t stop there. Decide what you want your relationship to be and start building it based on honest communication, sincere efforts and an abundance of gratitude for one another. Those three elements alone ought to get you some response!