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7 Reasons your marriage is doomed for failure

7 Reasons your marriage is doomed for failure

By now we are all aware of the common marriage problems that can destroy the bond between husband and wife. We have heard for years about the in-laws, money, and other issues that often cause divorce, but there are some others that you should be aware of that can mess up a marriage just as bad. It is important to understand what these problems are so that if you recognize them in your own marriage you can take corrective action before it is too late.

  1. Too Much Electronic Communication

The busy lifestyles that married couples lead these days forces them to have to use electronic communication more than ever. It is quicker and easier to send a Tweet, email, or Facebook update than it is to pick up the phone and tell someone that you are thinking of them. The problem however, is many couples are relying too heavily on these forms of communication and are not spending enough time having face-to-face conversations. Couples must find a healthy balance between communicating digitally and communicating in person, and when an electronic message must be sent, it is best to learn how to send romantic text messages from relationship expert Michael Fiore in his program Text the Romance Back than it is to use other forms of communication that can seem emotionless.

  1. Lack of Sleep

We all know that getting enough sleep is important for your health but it is also important for the health of our marriages. Think about how grumpy and irritable you are when you are tired and how every little thing seems to work your nerves. When you do not get enough sleep you are more likely to get into an intense argument with your spouse, and if you make a habit of not sleeping enough, then you are going to find yourself arguing all the time. If you know that you are irritable from lack of sleep, then the best thing to do is let your spouse know that is the reason you feel argumentative so you can revisit the issue when you have had time to get some beauty rest.

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  1. Holding Everything in all the Time

What is worse than not getting enough sleep and arguing all the time is, when a couple holds everything in and does not argue at all. This is a sign that couples are not being honest with one another, and it is not good for the health of the marriage or the health of the individuals in the marriage. Holding things in causes people to be more stressed than they should be and it is only a matter of time before someone blows up and the marriage is in big trouble.

  1. Movie Star Marriages

Reality television and movies have totally messed up the way people think about marriage these days. This is especially true for women. Sitting around watching how a marriage is portrayed on a movie screen or in a television show only leads to unrealistic expectations. Just because the handsome, muscular actor brings his supermodel wife flowers every day after work and gives her a foot massage every night before she goes to sleep does not mean those are the things that are supposed to happen in your marriage. Many women see these things and think that is how their marriage should be, and when the marriage doesn’t turn out that way issues arise. It is important to stop trying to model your marriage after a fairy tale on TV or in the movies and start appreciating it for what it is if you want it to be a success.

  1. It’s the Little Things

Far too often these days, married couples get caught up in their busy lifestyles and forget about doing the little things to nurture their relationships. Instead, they plan for a big elaborate vacation once a year hoping that their spouses will appreciate and love them for it. Doing little things like making coffee for your spouse or something else he/she enjoys goes a lot further than that big fancy vacation you have planned. Make a mental note of some of the little things your spouse enjoys and try doing them on a daily basis. You will have a much more rewarding marriage than if you trade in all of the little things for a big vacation once a year.

  1. Friends’ Relationships

Thanks to social networks people are more involved than ever in the lives of their friends and family. Sure, you may not see these people on a regular basis but you know what is going on in their lives because it is all over Facebook. When something bad happens such as a friend whose husband cheats on her or a friend whose wife is lying to him, you know about it, and unfortunately, a lot of people start thinking their spouse is going to do those same things to them. You cannot let your friends’ relationships affect your marriage. You have to have the same amount of trust in your spouse that you have always had no matter what goes on in your friends’ lives. If not, then you are setting your marriage up for failure.

  1. Bring Back the Romance

Romance is the key ingredient that seems to be missing from a lot of marriages these days. A lot of couples do not make time for those romantic dinners, date nights, and other gestures the way they did in the beginning of their marriages. Romance is absolutely vital in order for any marriage to survive. It is important to put the spark back into your marriage if you feel it is missing. Get out of the house every once in a while and go on a date. Just because you are married does not mean date night goes away! Do romantic things for each other such as leave sweet notes for your spouse, buy a card to let your spouse know you are thinking of him/her, or send romantic text messages that let your spouse know he/she is on your mind. Whatever it is you do, make sure to keep the romance in your marriage alive if you want your marriage to be a success.

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Steve Harvey gives us 5 dating tips every woman needs to know

Steve Harvey, host of one of the most popular radio shows in the country, The Steve Harvey Morning Show, and author of best selling book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, has a lot of advice for women in the dating pool. A guest on Oprah last March, Harvey says this book holds special meaning for him because, aside from his charity work, he wrote this book purely to empower women.

With the holidays right around the corner and all the parties, gatherings and outings to meet new people, it’s the perfect time for you ladies to brush up on your dating skills. And if you’re already dating someone, holiday time is the best time to find out if your sweetie is here to stay or if it’s time for someone new.

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Introductions say it all. In his book, Harvey says the way a man introduces you gives good insight into the status of your relationship. If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Harvey says you have nothing. “We’re very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you…he’s willing to profess it. He’ll give you a title after a while. You’re going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby’s mama, something,” he says. “If he’s introducing you after six months, ‘This is [Jen] …,’ you should be standing there going, ‘This is going nowhere.'”

Men have an agenda. According to Harvey, another thing women need to understand is that every man has a plan. “Men don’t come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan,” he says. “We’re looking across the room at you, and we don’t care about your hopes and dreams. We don’t care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted.”

When a man approaches a woman, Harvey says, he already knows what he wants from her, but he doesn’t know what it will cost. “How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we’ll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to,” he says. “The problem is women have stopped setting the bar high.”

Though a woman might want many things from a man, Harvey says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Harvey calls it, “the cookie.” “We’ve got to have your support. Whatever adventure we’re out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That’s your love. We’ve got to know that you belong to us,” he says. “And we’ve got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That’s the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin…but if you’ve got vanilla cream, I’ll eat that too.”

In his book, Harvey tells the story of his father-in-law’s first introduction to one of Harvey’s daughter’s boyfriends. “[My 26-year-old daughter] was dating this guy who was about 30. He had been over to the house about four, five times. And my father-in-law was visiting from Memphis,” Harvey says. “He’s in the kitchen and he’s eating and [my daughter’s] boyfriend is in there, and [my father-in-law] goes: ‘So, son, sit down. Tell me, what’s your plan for my granddaughter?'” After plenty of hemming and hawing, Harvey says the boyfriend finally said that the two were just “kickin’ it.”

Harvey was pretty confident his daughter didn’t have the same interpretation of the relationship, he says. “I said: ‘Cool. Let’s bring my daughter in there. Let’s inform her that she’s just being kicked…let’s see if that’s what she wants to do,” he says. “They broke up the next day.”

Set your standards high. Without ironclad standards, Harvey says you’ll always end up back in the dating pool. “You’ve got to quit lowering your standards,” he says. “Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.”

Set the pace of the relationship. Don’t let the man set the pace of the relationship—Harvey says it’s always the woman who has total control. “With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That’s stupid,” he says. “Say: ‘Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'”

As an auto plant worker, Harvey says he had to wait 90 days to receive benefits—and says the same probation period should apply to dating.” In 90 days they checked me out. They determined if I was easy to work with, if I got along well with others, if I showed up when I said I was going to show up, if I was worthy.”

Women, Harvey says, hold the greatest benefit of all—the cookie—so there’s no reason to give it away until you know your man deserves it. “Slow down, ladies,” Steve says. “Look, you cannot run us off.”

So what if you don’t want to wait 90 days? Steve says if you change the probation period, you do so at your own risk. “You all keep changing the rules. And men are aware of the fact that you are changing the rules. We’re aware of the fact that you act desperate. We’re aware of the fact that you think there’s a good shortage of good men out there,” he says.

“We play on all of that. … We created the term ‘gold digger’ so you won’t ask us for nothing. We created the term ‘nagging’ so you can quit badgering us. These are terms that we created so you can require less of us.”

Nix Facebook and text messages when it comes to dating. Social networking websites and text messages can be a great way to keep in touch with friends, but Harvey says it’s not the best way to date. “You have nothing if you’re texting a guy in a relationship,” he says. “We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push ‘reply all.’ I mean, since we’re lying, we might as well lie to everybody.”

If you want the relationship to be more, take it face-to-face. “Women talk about [how] chivalry’s dead. Chivalry’s not dead—it’s just not required anymore,” he says. “You’ve got to get a guy in your face. Look in his eyes. … God has given you all this incredible thing called intuition. You’ve got to use that.”

You know you’ve got a keeper when your man wants to make sure you’re always safe, Harvey says. Every man wants to protect his woman.

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You Dumped Your Boyfriend But Want Him Back Now

What made you dump your boyfriend? You were dating the guy and getting pretty fond of him. He treated you well and everything seemed fine. Then, one day you something about him was grating on your nerves. So, all of a sudden, you dumped your boyfriend. You told him the relationship was finished. You didn’t even give him a reason for ending it.

Now you want your boyfriend back. There are tactics you can use to get your ex boyfriend back. But, before you do anything, you need to think about why you have changed your mind. Don’t call your ex boyfriend or text him. Your guy will be feeling hurt and unhappy. If you didn’t tell him why you dumped him, he will undoubtedly be feeling confused. Don’t add to his confusion by contacting him within days of telling him you were finished with him.

Before you do anything else, you need to make sure you know the exact reason why you dumped your boyfriend. Maybe the way he giggled got on your nerves. Did he have a catchphrase that made you want to scream after you had heard it a million times? Did you grow to hate his hair? Was it something deeper? Did he show disrespect for women? Did you disagree about religion or politics? Maybe you just didn’t share the same sense of humour.

Maybe it was only a small thing that seemed important enough to cause you to dump your boyfriend. Before you try to get your ex boyfriend back, you need to examine how you really feel about him deep down. Human beings are not perfect and there are things about some people that cannot be altered. You need to make sure you can learn to love your ex boyfriend’s faults, or at least ignore them.

When you have sorted out your feelings, it is time to try to make contact with your ex boyfriend. You might find that he refuses to have anything to do with you. Don’t be surprised if this happens. It is quite a natural reaction. Imagine how you would feel. You were happily dating somebody when, totally out of the blue, he dumped you. Then started calling you. Wouldn’t you be feeling hurt and confused?

If you have tried phoning him and he has failed to answer, let him have some peace. It could be that he is so hurt he wants nothing more to do with you. It could be that he needs a breathing space to heal from the emotional pain.

The only sensible thing for you to do is to back off and give your ex boyfriend some space. Your ex boyfriend might need time to get over the shock of you dumping him so suddenly. If so, you have to respect his feelings and allow him the time he needs. Getting back with your ex boyfriend is not something that you should try to rush.

Some women test their men by telling them they want to break up. They want to see their boyfriends’ reaction. Of course, the reaction they hope for is that the boyfriends will chase after them. They want proof that their boyfriends care enough to fight to keep them. If there is any hint of this sort of manipulation in your decision to dump your boyfriend, you only have yourself to blame if you have lost him for good.

If your ex boyfriend decided to keep his dignity rather than beg you to stay with him, you are going to have your work cut out to get him to even consider getting back with you. If you know deep down that you were playing this type of callous game, you should think about what made you need to act in that way. This sort of behaviour often stems from low self esteem. If your self esteem is so poor that you feel you have to test your boyfriend’s sincerity, you should work at improving your feelings of self-worth.

If you are sure that dumping your boyfriend was not done to test his feelings, you should think more deeply about your feelings for him. Do you truly believe that your only reason for dumping your boyfriend was that something about him got on your nerves? If so, you should think seriously about whether the same thing is going to continue to irritate you if you get your ex boyfriend back.

You need to know whether you inflated a minor irritation out of proportion or whether you reacted to a flaw you can’t live with. Make certain that you can accept your ex boyfriend as he is. Then you can start to try to get him back.

First of all, you must offer a sincere apology for your behaviour. You owe it to your ex boyfriend to tell him why you dumped him. The reason might even sound ridiculous to your own ears now. If it does, admit that too. Tell your ex boyfriend that you completely overreacted. Let him know that you care about him. Tell him that you will never behave in such an unacceptable way in future.

If fortune is smiling on you, your dumped boyfriend might come back and give you the chance to put things right. If you can get back with your ex boyfriend, you must stick to your promise to change your behaviour. One of the best ways to ensure a relationship will last is to talk to each other. Minor irritations can be quickly sorted out when you are communicating well. If you don’t talk about these things, they can just keep on mounting up until they reach a dangerous level.

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The Living Chakra System

A Beginner’s Guide To The Living Chakras Systems

The word Chakra is Sanskrit for wheel or disk and signifies one of the seven basic energy centers in the body that corresponds to nerve ganglia branching from the spinal column, as well as states of consciousness, developmental stages of life, archetypal elements, body functions, colors, sounds, and much, much more. Together they form a profound formula for wholeness and a template for transformation.

The power of your life force moves through your chakra system, which is composed of wheels of energy that spin constantly in your body. These invisible wheels of energy generate and awaken a new awareness of who you are and how to deal with your world. Day after day your heart beats, your lungs breathe and your chakras spin, drawing in the life force all around you, replenishing, harmonizing and aligning your energetic body.

How The Chakras Work

You can’t see your chakras but you can see your body. You may not even be able to feel them at first, but as you become more familiar with them and their properties you will soon begin to sense them energetically. You will soon be able to recognize their presence and power in your life. It is through your chakra system that you draw your kundalini (prana, qi, force of life) from the base of your spine up to the top of your head, toward the destination of awakening consciousness.

There are seven basic energy centers that are most commonly known but in actuality there are hundreds of less significant chakras in your body. They all have sounds, colors and qualities that they represent.

The Seven Chakras

  • 7th Chakra located at the crown of your head, stands for the Totality of Beingness, Spiritual Perfection, Enlightenment. The color is violet.
  • 6th Chakra located in the center of your forehead, stands for Visualization, Spiritual Sight, Clairvoyance. The color is indigo.
  • 5th Chakra located at the throat stands for Communication, Speaking your Truth, Creative Expression. The color is deep blue.
  • 4th Chakra located at the heart, and the center of this system, stands for Unconditional Love, Compassion, Empathy. The color is green.
  • 3rd Chakra located at the solar plexus, stands for Creation of Self, Inner Power and Strength, Perception and Projection of Self. The color is yellow.
  • 2nd Chakra located at the sacral (pubic bone), stands for Sexual Energy, Life Force, Creativity. The color is orange.
  • 1st Chakra located at the perineum and base of the spine, stands for Physical Vitality, Security, Safety and Survival. The color is red.

Yoga master B.K.S. Iyengar describes the chakras “As antennae pick up radio waves and transform them into sound through a receiving set, chakras pick up cosmic vibrations and distribute them throughout the body.”

When this body is out of balance you may feel it in a variety of ways. Your chakra system collects energy not only from the cosmos but from your own emotional body as well as the energetic body of other people. The chakra system is the central processing center for every aspect of your being and because of this any blockage or other energetic imbalance in a chakra will create disorders in your body, mind or spirit. If this occurs the energy in that chakra will feel dense and this will out-picture in a corresponding way in your life.

So if you feel unsafe in the world and are not feeling secure, you know that your first chakra which represents security, safety and survival in the world is out of balance.

For this reason it is a good idea to cleanse your chakra system daily to release, realign and recalibrate them. To learn how to do this you can watch this video:

Each chakra is a rung on your personal evolutionary ladder, resonating with a frequency of life energy that we learn to master and integrate on our way to wholeness. With each chakra on the tantric path, you learn to master a unique aspect of life and human experience. Each chakra brings gifts and abilities as well as challenges, dilemmas, and demands for our functional and relational participation in life.

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There Is More Than One Kind Of Orgasm

Tantra There Are More Different Types Of Orgasmic States

In Tantra we learn that even having an Orgasm is an art.

Yes, for both men and women cultivating our ability to become multi-orgasmic is part of the fun of making love from a Tantric perspective. In Tantra, having an orgasm is more than just a physical release of energy from the genitals. It is a full-bodied state of ecstatic energy that runs throughout your entire body.

With proper training you can bring yourself into ecstatic states of bliss for unlimited amounts of time. In Tantra there are different types of orgasmic states. There are valley orgasms, peak orgasms, full-bodied energetic orgasms, extended and expanded orgasms.

The Valley Orgasm: A valley orgasm is one that is gradually built during lovemaking. To experience a valley orgasm, move and breathe during lovemaking, then rest and sustain. Then again move slowly gradually building your energy and then resting. During resting phases you and your partner eye gaze and allow yourself to merge with each other energetically. The valley orgasm never peaks but stays in a continuous state of building and resting until you decide to stop. This can sometimes feel like a wave-like energy and is generally full bodied.

Full Body Orgasm: A full-bodied orgasm can also be one that happens just from breathing up your sexual energy through your chakras and learning how to hold this energy and then release it. You can do this using several types of breathing exercises; the Energy Ecstasy Breath, Cobra Breath, Inner Flute and several others. You can learn to do this as a solo exercise and bring yourself into ecstatic states and have chakra orgasms or with a partner. Either way you are mostly using your breath to build your sexual energy. Sometimes you can also touch yourself or your partner but the focus is not on genital connection or touching.

The Peak Orgasm: The peak orgasm is what we are most familiar with. It is when we build our sexual energy through genital stimulation until you peak or climax. When you learn how to gradually build energy for your partner and guide them with their breath, varying your strokes while maintaining eye contact, you can learn how to sustain your orgasmic energy before you peak or climax. Even the peak orgasm can be extended out for longer periods of time.

Expanded Orgasm: “Expanded orgasm is a compelling, accessible process that you and your lover can use to enter a state of pleasurable expansion and flow of ecstatic energy.” Expanded Orgasm by Dr. Patti Taylor. This is a type of orgasm that is even more powerful than a climatic orgasm. It is, in one sense, an orgasm that is expanded in both time and space. To learn more about the Expanded Orgasm, I suggest you read, Expanded Orgasm, by Dr. Patti Taylor, an expert in this field. Has an article written by Patti, just go to articles and you will see her name.

Extended Orgasm: An extended orgasm is one where the receiver is using their breath to sustain the orgasm or extend it out. So rather than climaxing and having your energy drop, you continue to breathe while you are climaxing in such a way that you are actually re-circulating your sexual energy. I like to use my hands and actually move them in a circle from my genitals to my head over and over while I am breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. For me this will extend the actual orgasm and sometimes I can continue on like this for quite some time.

To really become an artful giver as well as an artful receiver in any of the above processes will take a commitment on both your parts to learn the techniques that are used to bring you and your partner into ecstatic states of bliss. Take a workshop or even see a private teacher or coach. There are many Tantra teachers here in the Bay Area to choose from.

Of course once you learn the techniques involved you must also practice. But that is the fun part. Imagine spending hours of delicious time in high states of arousal. What a wonderful way to spend your time. Once you have had a taste of what you have been missing you will surely appreciate the value of what being in expanded states of pleasure can do for you. Recent research has shown that you can heal old wounds and work through emotional issues while you are in an orgasmic state. It seems we can now choose how to work through our “stuff”, and I personally prefer being in a state of orgasmic pleasure. As my aunt Sadie used to say, “Try it you’ll like it.”

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Reclaiming The Sacred In Sex

Reclaiming The Sacred In Sex

There is a time when the act of sex and love is considered sacred. It is the gift of the Goddess and is thus revered and considered a part of life. Both men and women are specially trained male or female to be introduced into the sacred ritual. By these customs a young or young woman has become a responsible adult and is now ready to contribute to the whole community.

Since the temples were built in honor of the gods, the temple priest was given the initiation charge. Some women were trained to become temple prostitutes, whose main role was to return men to perfection after war and to reconnect with their souls and hearts. These women danced to power and came through the goddess. The way he personally came out became a vehicle to flow through the power of the goddess.

The Primary offerings of the sacred harlot to the Goddess in the Temple of Love welcomed her as a stranger, and she was considered the messenger of the gods or perhaps the incarnation of God. If she was a young woman, she would have taken the initiative in the mysteries of her female sexuality under the auspices of the Goddess. Through ritual or mental development, she knows her sexuality, the spiritual side of her true sexuality, and as a “virtuous prostitute” she is a woman who fulfills it according to her personal circumstances.

The Death of The Sacred Sex

Sex was defiled as the church gradually began the apocalypse of the goddess character and everything she represented. The holy woman has changed so much from the holy to the profane, from the holy to the profane, and from the holy whore. The time has come to not worship the Goddess; The physical and spiritual aspects of womanhood are badly proclaimed. From this point on the Church’s ancestors denounced women who represented sexuality and divinity, “the manifestation of sexual passion, the cause of man’s downfall; he was tempted by evil forces and attracted to man.” (The Sacred whore) also condemned the act of sex and taught that this could only be done for the purchase of species.

Then sex became unclean and all natural bodily functions were gross, awkward and unspoken. As you know, what is forbidden becomes a prohibition, and all prohibitions are desirable. Women have been convinced for thousands of years that sexual desire is not a feminine quality and that any woman who desires sexual satisfaction is unknown and out of control. The word “whore” actually means a deep pit or hole from the Hebrew root word ‘hoar’. The Spanish word “prostitute” puta is derived from the famous Latin word, but the Latin word for tomb is “hole in the ground”, for the daughter, the rebirth of the womb. These words are not insulting for “whore”. The origin of the Latin word is Vedic, in the early Sanskrit language, in which the word puta is defined as pure and sacred. Caves, ditches, holes, and incomprehensible Kali Lake are metaphors for the great deity.

Sex Is Unclean

In Kathleen Barry’s book, The Constitution of Sexuality, “Sexual exploitation causes women to have sex with them; sex that provokes violence against women and sex reduces women to market exchanges.

I Have always considered myself a sex-positive person and an open-minded woman when it comes to sex practices, and all sorts of things that we humans “like” or find our happiness. As a sex teacher and teacher of virtuous sex and a woman who is a sex therapist, I have personally experienced what it means to be classified as a “sex worker” by culture.

Today we see the result of these beliefs that are so common in our culture. For the most part, sex has become a billion-dollar industry annually. Who sells these products? Women. It is once again a feminine body, and women, even well-paid women in the sex industry, are in favor of a system that inadvertently exploits them. Some sex workers choose what they do for its love, but these are minority women in the industry, not the majority. The prostitution of sexuality continues throughout and it is a big business so it is unlikely to change.

So what can we do, we live in a world where sex is considered fun rather than a sacred act of love. The following are the things we can do to consecrate porn from uncleanness.

  • Open to a deeper understanding of himself and be ready to see sex action as something sacred, for pleasure or for love.
  • Learn more about sacred sex, tantra and other forms of ‘high sex’, which have come back and are gaining popularity.
  • Educate your children about the sanctity of loving and having sex with your children, as well as encouraging young women to value themselves not only for their sexuality or beauty.
  • Say no to media for sexual harassment of teenage girls and boys. Join partnerships with other organizations that can help prevent this type of exploitation.
  • When you see women portrayed as sexual objects and perceived as sexual objects, do not be afraid to take action on whether it is spoken or written to the editor of the magazine.

These are some ideas and I welcome anything you have. Feel free to send us your thoughts and comments.

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10 Steps To Sexual Wholeness And Fulfilment

Sacred Sexuality Of Sexual Wholeness For Your Partner

I Recently came across this article by Jalaja Bonheim, Ph.D, a very well known author and someone I admire greatly. I felt that her article on sexual wholeness was one that I might have written myself, it is that good. I hope you will also find it as helpful as I have.

  1. TELL YOUR STORY IN SACRED SPACE.

Telling your sexual story is a powerful way of coming out of sexual isolation. Sometimes, it can be a lifesaver. However, this deeply intimate process should always be contained in a sacred space, which might be a therapist’s office or even a trusted friend’s living room. I recommend telling your story in an environment in which it will be received with attention, compassion and reverence, in which you will not be judged or shamed, and in which your confidentiality will be respected.

Like the body, the psyche has its “private parts,” in which we hold our deepest, most intimate secrets, as well as our most vulnerable feelings, memories, hopes and fears. Your story is sacred, and you would no more want to share it with an inappropriate audience that you would want to have sex with inappropriate partners.

  1. EMBRACE PLEASURE AS A FRIEND.

Wilhelm Reich was one of the first psychoanalysts to realize how much we fear pleasure. When Joanna, a client, had an orgasm that left her, as she put it, “at the center of the universe, totally at one with everything,” she reacted not with elation but with terror. Often, we associate pleasure with decadence and sin, while viewing pain as virtuous. As one man put it, “In Catholic school, I learned that suffering was good. Jesus suffered, and so did the martyrs. Nobody went to heaven for having a good time.”

Provided our pleasure does not harm ourselves or others, we should consider it healthy, healing, and holy. Sacred sexuality honors pleasure as a gift from God—nature’s way of letting us know what is good for us. So, welcome pleasure into every moment of your life, and embrace it as a teacher and a friend.

  1. FIND TIME AND SPACE TO OPEN TO YOUR SEXUALITY BY YOURSELF.

Since you are by nature a sexual being allow yourself to explore new ways of expressing your sexuality. Masturbation—self-pleasuring—can be a voyage of self-discovery and an experience of truly making love to yourself. But there are many other ways to turn yourself on as well. Get naked, wrap a shawl around your hips, and do an erotic dance. On a warm summer night, go out and lie in the damp grass, letting your body commune with the earth. A good lover is a priceless gift, but don’t think that without a lover, you can’t be sexual.

  1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PARTNERS YOU ATTRACT.

If you have a history of choosing inappropriate partners, you can safely assume that in some way you still feel unworthy or undeserving of the love you want. Learn as much as possible about where and why you go astray. Watch for patterns of “making do,” condoning abuse, or settling for relationships that are ultimately destructive and undermining. Sacred sex involves not only physical nakedness but also emotional and spiritual nakedness. Take a good hard look at who you are getting naked with.

  1. LEARN TO EXPRESS YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES AND NEEDS.

Good sex requires honest communication. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Unfortunately, fear and shame cause many otherwise articulate men and women to become mute in bed. Alexandra spent ten years in a sexually frustrating marriage before she finally found the courage to ask her husband for what she wanted. “As a good, red-blooded American girl, I was brought up to believe that the man had to give you sexual pleasure, and that if he didn’t give it to you, there was no way to get it.” As it turned out, he was more than happy to oblige her. Yet one wonders how many relationships fail because partners have been taught not to express their desires.

  1. SLOW DOWN, SAVOR THE EXPERIENCE.

We all know that stress can destroy our health. It also cripples our sexuality. Slowing down—way down—is essential to sacred sexuality. Ecstatic lovemaking occurs only within sacred time, time out of time; it cannot tolerate being crammed into tight schedules. “Quickies” can be wonderful. Still, they are the sexual equivalent of fast food. Give yourself of a gourmet meal now and then.

  1. RELAX WHILE AROUSED.

When sexually aroused, we tend to tense up. We generally want to reach orgasm as quickly as possible, so we concentrate our excitement in the genital area. Often, we unconsciously hold our breath at the same time. Practice doing the opposite. Breathe deeply and relax into increasing levels of sexual arousal, without rushing toward orgasm. If and when orgasm occurs, it will release a healing flood of pleasure throughout your entire body.

  1. BE BRAVE.

Even with the best partner, sacred sex is bound to be somewhat scary. As in any encounter with the divine, you will need to let go of control and surrender to a power greater than your own. Sacred sex is loving sex, and love is not for cowards; it takes courage to plunge into that purifying blaze. Yet the body yearns to reconnect with the eternal source of its being, and grieves when we become so fearful that we refuse the healing medicine of ecstatic pleasure.

  1. OPEN TO GOD AS YOUR LOVER.

Meditate on a divine being who blesses your sexuality and desires you with as much passion as you desire Him or Her. Mystics of all spiritual traditions have invoked God as a lover who led them into states of rapture and orgasmic pleasure. By accepting God as your lover, you invite sacredness into your spiritual experience. On the other hand, opening to the divine lover will also transform your spiritual practice. In the presence of God the lover, worship becomes lovemaking, and lovemaking becomes worship.

  1. TAKE THE NEXT STEP.

Ask yourself, “What is the next step in my sexual life?” It can mean telling your lover about your sexual fantasies, writing erotica, or choosing to be celibate. For one woman, taking the next step meant visiting a local sex shop. “I was scared,” she remembers. “Decent people just don’t do that kind of thing. Then I thought, ‘OK, it’s time for you to admit to the world that you are interested in sex.'” What’s the next step for you?

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Five Major Tips For First Time Swingers

First Time Swingers and Sex In A Cruises

If you happen to be new in the community of swingers, then there are a lot of adjustments that you have to make. It is perhaps one of the most fitting lifestyles for the stoic calm type of people and in this piece, you will get to know the certain rules, practices and other relevant information that will prove that to be true. So, let’s get started and familiarize the customs of being a swinger, shall we?

Talk to Your Partners

One of the hardest steps to take for first time swingers is when they have to drop the bombshell with their mates. It is imperative to get affirmation that he or she is comfortable with moving forward or even open to the idea of swinging. Otherwise, there is no sense of pursuing the whole thing at all.

Educate Yourself

There are pros and cons in living a swinger’s life and you also have to know for a fact that there are potential risks that may arise if you do not tread carefully. With that said, you have to be very careful when choosing a person to have sex with (presuming that your partner’s affirmation is already there.) And be careful, it is meant to be taken that there is always a possibility of becoming infected by someone who has AIDS or other sexually transmittable diseases. Oh yeah, do not forget the essence of a condom in play.

Dimming the Lights

Okay, we’re moving on to the action part of becoming a swinger. One of the central points of joining the club is to fill up the gauge for sexual satiety and if you cannot achieve that after so many “encounters,” it’s basically pointless. So, in order to bring your drive to a whole new level, practice one of the finest techniques in seducing people, which happens to be the application of dim lighting or the more traditional way by candle lighting with all other lights off. For one, it creates a gloomy type of delineation for different skin tones that will actually make both parties look more daring and really into the whole scenario. And for starters, it’d be best that you practice with your partner ASAP!

Do Not Get Attached

One of the biggest restrictions in a swinger’s life is to become attached to anyone they encounter. First time swingers may have a problem dealing with this certain rule, but if you’re really up for the guilty pleasure, then you should remove yourself from any emotional equation. And how exactly do you not get attached? We are all susceptible to the whole falling in love thing and it happens even with the person you expect the least to be. And that only happens when you spend a lot of time with that person. So, my point is: After the session, move on to another and never look back. Or maybe look back, but after you have done swinging with a couple others already, because it gets easier to trail away from emotional attachments when you constantly mix everything in a bottle where you don’t get to pick the exact same candy all the time.

Do Not Get Jealous… Ever!

Last but definitely not the least, don’t get jealous. In a swinger’s life, you are prohibited from it and not because it is one of the seven sins, but because you don’t have the right to be. Being a swinger alone is already against the whole biblical reference of sinfulness with the lust part in it alone, in case you haven’t noticed. Right from the beginning, when you have agreed upon the formalities with your partner, you are already declaring the freedom to have “fun” with a partner of another. And therefore, there is the assurance that none of you should be jealous for the fact that you have decided to add more spice into your life by budging in to someone else’s business or letting others get under your pants in their call.

When you get jealous, it’s actually admittance to the profound happiness you are experiencing with the person you have only met in your swinging journey or simply being unfair to your partner, knowing that you can do whatever you want without his or her constant approval. At any rate, you should learn to accustom yourself with the whole “no shades of grey concept,” that everything is black and white. That it can only be good or bad, and that you should only go with it if you are not struggling with the doubt. Either way, it’s a fun and truly spontaneous lifestyle that is really worth the try.

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Swinger Wife: Wife Sharing From A Woman’s Perspective

Swinger Wife: Wife Sharing

How does a wife feel in the swinging lifestyle? How does she feel knowing that her husband is voluntarily sharing her life with another man for sexual purposes? Do you love your man or do you feel more in love with him if you are part of the swinging lifestyle? If you are interested in a swinging lifestyle, these are probably the questions that are running through your mind. These questions are common, so this article explores what it feels like to be a swinger’s wife during everyday life and swinging.

 During Everyday Life

There is a particular secret that a swinger wife and her husband share. It adds passion and intimacy to their relationship in their sexual life.

Intimacy comes from knowing that they can engage in a swinging lifestyle, but stay together on an emotional and physical level that no one else has yet. It is great to know that your husband is ready to explore your sexual fantasies without making you angry, jealous, or understanding, and it also builds trust and respect for your husband on a regular basis. In fact, a swinger wife has more trust in her husband than most wives because she knows what’s going on.

The openness of the relationship also enhances intimacy. Many women keep secrets on what they really want in their marriage, on an emotional and physical level. A swinger’s wife should not be afraid to tell her husband what she thinks or wants, because she knows he is ready to make her happy, which does not do her justice, and she has someone to do with her. . Swingers enjoy this open trust, communication and honesty that most couples will never do.

The hobby comes from sexual satisfaction and being comfortable. Not only does a wife fulfill her fantasies outside the wedding, she shares those fantasies with her husband. If you haven’t tried it, trust me, this is a big turning point in both marriage and wife.

During The Swing

It can be very tempting for your husband to have sex with other women, at the end of the day knowing that he is with you in order to go home and grow old. It reminds you of the value he has in your life and the person he is. In fact, any swinger’s wife will tell you that her husband is constantly sexy with her because he is constantly reminded of his masculinity. This is contrary to normal marriages, where a husband may be less than a man to his wife and more bored.

And to experience true femininity while swinging, if other men or women want to embrace your body, you will feel like a real feminine goddess. You are reminded that you are a powerful, sexual creature, he is sought not only by your husband but also by other people, and your sensual side is constantly exposed to the world. It boosts self-confidence both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom.

Also, you can lead a difficult life by embracing your true femininity. This allows you to be a vulnerable woman, at this time when you are considered harsh and prominent to prove your worthiness to the world. There is no better way to feel your natural femininity than because you are appreciated by others.

Things To Think About

If you are interested in becoming a swinging wife, congratulations! You are on your way to being satisfied with your marriage and your sex life. However, there are a few things you need to think about before jumping into the swinging lifestyle.

First, Swinger’s wife is no different from a normal wife when it comes to marriage needs. He needs communication in the marriage to satisfy the arrangement, otherwise doubt and jealousy can quickly destroy the whole thing. Therefore, you and your husband need to hone your communication skills before embarking on this lifestyle. Consistent communication and honesty are key to making a living and being happy with your spouse. Above all, you have to trust each other.

Second, there are rules that you and your spouse create and follow. These rules are a guide to help you get comfortable with yourself while swinging. Your husband is comfortable to honor and vice versa. If you don’t follow the rules early, credibility issues can occur and you may not be able to push your comfort zone later; Therefore, there is no provision for ‘just one time’ as the regulations come into force for a reason.

Finally, wife sharing is a sexy and informative thing for a wife. It helps to build a strong marriage, meet sexual needs and boost self-esteem and authenticity.

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Swinging Couples: What You Need To Know About Them

Swinging Couples

In an American culture, as in most cultures, the term swinging couple applies to partners who engage in sexual activity with other people outside of their marriage or relationship. The subject of swings is considered taboo for the general public. However, there is more to the swing than you learn from common sense. This article focuses on some things you need to know about swingers and swinger couplings.

Many people think that swinging couples come from the bizarre side of society. However, this is unrealistic. Studies show that swinger pairs occur in all walks of life. Some swinger couples come from the middle to upper class, some have higher education, some have a white collar job and all come from all sides for political affiliation. Although swingers come from all walks of life, there is one common element that binds them – they enjoy engaging in sexual activity with multiple partners with the consent of their spouse.

What most people think, swinger couples are simple humans who choose to explore their sexuality differently.

He is not a mentally disturbed person. In addition, a Swinger Meet and Greet or Party is held and Ground Rules are placed on the front of the hand. The couple joins other sites dedicated to swings, which are dedicated exclusively to a swinger party such as Swing Lifestyle.com. The swinger party can be a trisome, square or orgy. It all depends on whether or not everyone in the party agrees and most importantly you and your partner agree.

Most lifestyle couples, despite having a normal lifestyle, keep their lifestyle a secret. This makes sense when ordinary people meet this idea and think that people who “swing” are mentally ill. For this reason, swingers initially meet other swingers using the Internet to hide their identity.

One of the most frequently asked questions when it comes to swinging is, why is it? Although the answers vary from one person to another, many say it is because it is exciting and meant for exploration. A few other reasons are independence and relationship-revivalism. There are so many benefits to living. Most swingers will tell you that swinging increases their combat satisfaction. Contrary to what people think, swinging is related to twin stones.

Another advantage of a swinging couple is the communication ability they share. This is not surprising as there are a set of lifestyle challenges that are best addressed through strong communication between partners.

Some people think that all swingers are overweight and ugly. This is a common misconception. As mentioned earlier, swinger pairs come in the form of young and old, fat and thin and rich and poor.

What other people think about STDs and swinging, the truth is, there is no threat to the sexually active singles of the swinging couple. Studies show that the risk of STDs for a swinger pair is on par with the general public. Some swingers argue this is low because they are open to explaining the importance of safe sex and that they choose their partners over single people.

Swinging is not considered fraud. Swinger pairs are not more honest than the rest of the average doubles. In fact, they may be more honest. It is not cheating to have sex with other people; It is cheating to have sex with other people without your partner knowing. Swinger couples agree that their partners engage in sexual activity with other people.

Divorce spouses do not marry. In fact, most swinger couples have strong relationships and successful people excel in the art of communication and honesty. For this reason, lifestyle is not for everyone. Some couples try to be a swinger couple as a last resort to save a failed marriage, which is not fair; And this idea fails more than it succeeds.

Another common misconception of the Swinger couple is that they are all drug addicts. This is not true. The percentage of swinger joints used in the drug is with the public.

End…

There are so many misunderstandings with the swing couple and the swivel lifestyle. However, the truth is that swinging couples are completely normal people from all walks of life. These individuals want to express and explore their sexuality in their own way and by choosing consent with all parties.