It has always been difficult to define the word “addiction” because people’s perceptions vary. Some individuals minimize or have a fixed idea that they aren’t addicted because they are still able to function fairly well. Underneath, however, they might feel that they have to hide their feelings and actions because they are worried that others will judge them or force them to get treatment that they do not believe they need.
Sometimes people are worried about their partner, family member or friend because there are showing signs of addiction accompanied by denial that anything is wrong. It can be very painful to watch someone who you love make poor choices over and over again without acknowledging this or getting any help. Well, you can’t push a rope! Maybe you are the one who needs help to deal with the stress.
Long-time sex researcher Dr. Patrick Carnes has used research that was published in the American Society of Addiction Medicine to develop a reliable tool to use for diagnostic purposes. PATHOS is a brief screening that takes only a few minutes to complete. It has a high reliability and validity. Several studies “support the use of PATHOS as a screening instrument to detect potential sexual addiction in clinical settings.”
In 30 seconds you can find out if you or your partner may be addicted to pornography or sex.
Preoccupied – Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
Ashamed – Do you hide some of your sexual behavior from others?
Treatment – Have you ever sought therapy for sexual behaviour you did not like?
Hurt others – Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?
Out of control – Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?
Sad – When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards? A positive response to just one of the six questions would indicate a need for additional assessment with a certified sex addiction therapist. Two or more are considered to certainly indicate sexual addiction.
If you complete the PATHOS and have further questions, do not hesitate to contact a professional who has specialized training in this field. You will never be judged or treated like you are “bad.” You will be provided with excellent tools and support that will help you to regain your confidence and rebuild your health and relationships.
An old expression states “The truth hurts” but in clinical settings we believe that awareness is the first step to healing. If the PATHOS has opened your eyes to a problem, do not despair. The good news is that there is help for you. The first step is to call for an appointment today. I am sure you will be glad that you did.
Penis Male Enlargement Pics plus topics on Exercises For Male Enhancement plus How To Lengthen Penis Naturally
Your flashy smile captivates the ladies. You’ve got bulging pectorals and rock-hard abs. With a strong chin and perfect set of teeth you look like the Adonis of the new millennium yet you are hesitant to ask those gorgeous babes out. It seems that one chunk of the puzzle is missing. Is something bothering you? It is the question that you haven’t been able to answer until now and that is ‘How to Enlarge the Penis?’
Male enhancement has come off age and there are some very simple and easy techniques that can actually make your penis grow. One of the best methods to enlarge your penis naturally is with the help of penis exercises.
This article explains how I went from 5.5 inches to over 8 inches quickly and permanently without pills pumps or Penile Implant surgery. You can easily duplicate my results and have a large penis capable of satisfying any woman.
It”s quite possible to enlarger your penis with exercises while avoiding dangerous techniques like penis pumps and pill popping. Ever stretching exercises alone cannot make it bigger. I’ll reveal one technique which has been proven to add size.
Okay….it’s winter time. The summer is long gone and you have settled in for the coldest couple months of the year. Now would be the absolute perfect time to get that penis of yours in shape for next summer. I know it seems like a long way away but I also know how fast it can creep up especially when you are procrastinating about doing something you want to do. Just imagine hot weather hot girls and a few extra inches added to your penis. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?
The penis male enlargement industry has seen considerable growth in the last few years. This is evidenced by the increase in number of penis male enlargement products and programs seen in the market today. This probably stemmed from the fact that a lot of men are not satisfied with the size of their penis.
How many times have you looked in the mirror and wished that you have a larger longer and firmer penis? Admit it. When you are watching porn movies or even seeing underwear ads you kind of wish that you have a larger penis. It is quite shameful to actually admit it to the world but in your own little nutshell you dream of having one. Maybe you have thought of going to the doctor but are too ashamed to even ask how a penis male enhancement works and how much does it cost. The possible answer to your problems is exercises for penis male enlargement.
“Once again I caught him watching pornography and masturbating, he obviously has a porn addiction problem and needs to be cured of it. If not I just cannot stay married to him any longer!”
This is an all too common misconception in our society today about sexual addiction. The use of the word sexual addiction or pornography addiction is a loaded word. Understanding why a person may find pleasure in the sexual act and determines if it is right or wrong, or how frequent is subjective to each person and couple. Take for instance a married man that watches pornography and masturbates several times a week when he gets home from work. He and his wife made an agreement several years back, because she no longer desires sex, having lost that feeling, but see’s that her husband is still sexual. Would a person say that this man has a porn addiction? Take another scenario with a man who is married with three young kids and has sex with his wife maybe once a month if lucky. His wife catches him watching porn while masturbating and insists that he has a problem and needs to see a doctor for his pornography addiction. Does this man have an addiction or has the scenario just been adjusted?
There is a woman in her 20’s who is single and enjoys sex with various men as a way to end her long work week. She is always safe using condoms and getting her checkups, would you consider this women to be a sex addict or a women who simply enjoys sex? We now look at a woman in her 40’s who just got out of a long term marriage where her husband left her for a man, admitting that after 15 years that he desires other men. The woman begins to feel good about herself again and wants to experience sex, since her and her husband rarely had sex over a 15 years of marriage. She goes out and meets some attractive men who find her attractive, and she spends the next 3 years enjoying her sexual adventures. Some may say this woman has a sexual addiction, but in reality, is she not just enjoying her sexuality or desires?
The reason why sexual addiction is so hard to understand and is a loaded word is that sexuality is unique to each person and what one person finds acceptable, another may not.
How does one define sexual addiction as opposed to sexual desire?
An addiction is something that causes harm to a person. They feel they have no control over it, affects others around them negatively, endangers their lives, and can financially bankrupt them. Like all addictions, over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results. …………Sexual addiction is different than sexual desire. Sexual desire is something that turns a person on, makes them feel good, they want to do over and over again, can drive them, something they cannot change or do away with, can affect their relationship negatively or positively? People who differ in sexual desire with their spouse/partner interest or frequency often times are labeled as having a sexual addiction.
Is it healthy to act on all sexual desires? The answer is no, if a person breaks the law, hurts themselves in a bad way or someone else, then it is not healthy to act on those sexual desires Can a person fantasize about their sexual desires without acting on them? The answer is yes, a fantasy is a fantasy. Trying to change a person’s desires is not possible, but understanding them, enjoying them and managing them, may be the solution.
Relationship dissatisfaction has been linked to male sexual difficulties
With some men when they are not satisfied in their relationship it can lead to sexual dysfunction. For other men sexual dysfunction can lead to their partner not being satisfied and that can lead to a man having a lack of desire. Research has documented that men with sexual problems are significantly less satisfied sexually than men without sexual problems are. These findings relate to men with erectile difficulties (Matic, 2005; Swindle, Cameron, Lockhart & Rosen, 2004) In addition, a review of literature on men with delayed ejaculation have high levels of sexual dissatisfaction (Perelman &Rowland, 2006).
Most men at some point in their lives will experience some sexual difficulties, either not being able to maintain an erection, early ejaculation or unable to ejaculate, which is normal. Prolonged problems in this area is what is referred to as a sexual dysfunction. One common problem that may occur is when a man at some point in his life has had difficulties with sexual function due to a stressful event, health related issue, or relationship stress and then it turns into performance problems. This may happen due to a partner being upset with his lack of performance, not understanding it is normal once in a while and causing him more anxiety or even the man himself putting pressure on his own ability to perform sexually. Most men and women are not aware of the fact that there are times that a man has no control over his penis function. Once a man gets anxious his blood vessels constrict and eliminate blood flow to his penis causing it to either not get erect at all or become flaccid, it can also cause delayed ejaculation.
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When a man is satisfied with his relationship, he is usually satisfied with his sexual performance as well as his partner is satisfied sexually with him. The biggest level of partner disaffection in relationship was with men that had premature ejaculation. As demonstrated by Revicki and colleagues (2008), it is likely that men with premature ejaculation report higher levels of partner frustration, anger, or disappointment, given that men who have premature ejaculation have a negative connotation of being selfish (Masters & Johnson, 1970) It may also be the case that a poor relationship leads to premature ejaculation.
In conclusion sexual satisfaction relies heavily on a male’s sexual performance as well as his partner’s sexual satisfaction with him. When a man is not able to perform sexually or satisfy his parent sexually it can lead to low desire and even lack of desire. The positive aspect of this is that with most men it can be resolved and is not a medical condition. With the right information and help with a professional who treats sexual problems a man can regain full sexual function again. When a man has a sexual problem in a relationship it is important to include his partner in the process, so that both can learn how to help each other maintain a healthy sex life.
The ability to perform in bed is a matter of pride for some people but it can be heartache for others. This is in cases where one is not able to perform as expected and this has an impact on the relationship. The things that are done on a daily basis have an effect on the sexual performance of an individual.
Male Sexual Performance
The sexual performance of all males is very important not only because of the male ego but also in procreation. The man has to be able to achieve and sustain an erection to be able to make their partner happy and fulfilled. When the man is able to achieve an erection and not be able to sustain it, it leaves both partners unfulfilled. When there is a problem in sexual performance, one is encouraged to seek help from an experienced doctor.
The sexual performance is greatly affected by the health of the heart. The heart helps in pumping of blood to all the organs of the body including the penis. The penis needs to be well supplied with blood to be able to achieve an erection. Any problem with the heart may cause impairment with the blood circulation. This will in turn have an impact on how one is able to achieve an erection and be able to sustain it.
It is advisable to take part in regular exercise to improve sexual performance. Exercise helps in improving blood circulation to different parts of the body and this includes the brain, male sexual organs and the heart. These organs are important for an individual to be able to achieve an erection and be able to maintain. Exercise also helps in burning up of calories and this helps to increase the energy levels in the body. Daily exercise will improve the sexual performance and help in the satisfaction of both partners.
There is a connection between the food taken and the activity of the heart. Some foods help in the production of nitric oxide, a chemical that promotes the activity of the blood vessels. This helps in supplying of blood to different organs and therefore aid in the achievement of an erection. An amino acid in the body helps in the production of nitric oxide. The foods that provide the body with arginine includes beans, walnuts, oats, almonds and fish such as tuna and salmon.
An erection is where by the sponge like tissues inside the penis fills with blood and this causes it to harden. The penis has to be hard for a sexual activity to take place. An erection results to an enlargement of the penis and makes it erect ready for a sexual intercourse. An erection is very important in sexual performance and this can be affected by many factors. This includes exercise, diet, smoking and daily exposure to the sunlight.
It is advisable to avoid stress because this affects ones performance and sexual desire. During a sexual activity, the body and the mind are engaged for both partners to get fulfillment. When one is stressed, one is not able to concentrate on the sexual performance and this may affect the ability to sustain an erection.
Kick Bad Habits
It is advised to avoid smoking as this has an effect on the sexual activity. Studies have shown that the people who quit smoking were able to have firmer, faster and more rigid erections than those who relapsed. These men were also able to attain maximum arousal at a faster rate. This is because the nicotine in cigarettes causes vasoconstriction of the blood vessels and this reduces the flow of blood to the vital organs including the penis.
Get Some Sun
The absorption of natural sunlight through the skin is one of the ways of improving sexual performance. Sunlight helps to increase the energy levels in the body and alertness. This is because when it is hot, the blood vessels expand as a natural way of losing heat from the body. This causes an increase in transportation of blood to the vital organs. This vital organ include the heart, penis and the brain and this affects the sexual activity of an individual.
The other alternative methods that can be used to improve sexual performance include the use of drugs and natural male enhancement supplements. Ed1000 is one of the Best male enhancement has been used for a long time to improve sexual performance. Ed1000 works by altering the flow of blood through the lungs ensuring that blood is oxygenated. The heart needs oxygen and other nutrients to be able to function. When there is good supply of oxygenated blood to the heart, there is improved circulation to the vital organs.
Many factors influence an individual’s sexual performance. These factors affect the health of an individual by affecting the activity of the heart. The penis needs to be well supplied with oxygen to be able to function well. Anything that affects the circulation of blood to different organs in the body affects the sexual performance. Therefore, one has to be healthy for the sexual performance to be improved.
Male sexual performance refers to the ability of a man to keep her partner happy while at the same time enjoying a sexual act. It’s the ability to get in the right mindset to engage in sex whenever you or your partner has the urge. Several men struggle daily to go all night with their partners in bed but despite of almost every effort, it proves futile. If you experience the same, you are suffering from sexual performance anxiety. This could be triggered by a number of factors including stress, physical inactivity, lifestyle, diet, relationship wrangles, or underlying medical conditions.
Importance of Sexual Performance
It’s a clear fact that was it not for sex you would not have been reading this. You won’t have possibly been alive in simpler terms. Naturally, every person gets the desire to engage in sex. In most cases, sexual performance marks the peak of intimacy in relationships. It’s through sex that new generations emerge. Other than the important role that sex plays in life, it also has many benefits such as creating fun moments, a form of physical exercise, brings satisfaction, relieves stress and tension, and generally improves our health.
Ways to Improve Sexual Performance
There are plenty of male enhancement products such as pills, drugs, Penile Implant and ointments which claim to boost your performance in bed affairs. However, there are some simpler ways to stay firmer and last longer without the need to see a doc or visit a drugstore. These include:
A sedentary lifestyle can give you many complications including sexual performance anxiety. By engaging on regular workouts, it is a good way to boost your cardiovascular health. Even though there is some form of exercise (calorie burning), staying active physically keeps your heart functioning well. Try a sweat-breaking exercise a day, like thirty minutes of brisk walk, running, jogging, or swimming, rock climbing, or dancing. This will enhance your libido and get you in the right mood for sexual engagement. On top of this, exercise will keep your weight in control and burn fats that can deter you from enjoying sex.
While combined with exercise, there are some types of food that increase blood flow to your penis. These include;
Onions and garlic: don’t get deterred by their smell, you can brush later. They are renowned for their roles in improving blood circulation.
Bananas: these sweet tasting fruits are rich in potassium which plays a major role in lowering your blood pressure. This is ideal for your reproductive organs and in boosting sexual performances.
Chilies and Peppers: these all natural spicy foods are essential for regulating blood flow and aids in cutting down inflammation and hypertension.
Eggs: they contain a number of vitamins B complex required to contain hormonal imbalances which can lead to erection problems.
Stress is unavoidable either at work, school, or home. It can mess all aspects of your life including desire for sex and libido. When you are stressed, your blood pressure increases. This can take toll of both your sexual desire and performance. Let out stress by engaging in a workout whenever it strikes. Don’t hesitate to share your stress with your partner or friends—they will assist the much they can. It is worth noting that while you are stressed, you are more inclined to negative habits such as smoking or alcoholism. Won’t these further worsen your sexual desire and performance?
Avoid smoking and consuming alcohol
Smoking and excessive alcoholism are common habits that most people resort to whenever they are tensed, anxious or stressed out. Studies indicate that, the two could lead to several sexual problems. Surprisingly, a little red wine can improve your sex drive and performance according to other studies.
Smoking on the other hand brings about several complications such as narrowing of blood vessels. This has been linked with impotence in a number of men. It is advisable to kick out the bad habits and replace them with positive ones such as exercise and healthy eating.
Stop being the typical man who engages in commercial sex for satisfaction without caring the feelings of his partner. Seek to understand her experiences during sexual engagements. This will help you in identifying areas for improvement to foster your sexual performances. Get in to a detailed conversation with your partner to ease any tension that could exist prior to engaging in sex. Keep changing the pace and focus on your partner during breaks to make sex more thrilling for both of you.
If you find out that your sexual performance could be hindered by an underlying medical condition, consult a professional. Diseases like sexual dysfunction or Peyronie’s disease can cause sexual performance problems but are treatable through prescribed medications. Be open with your health care provider to ensure you get the right feedback. The help required to improve your sexual performance could be just a talk away.
Quality of intimate sex that leads to orgasm far out weights how many times a person just has sex to do it!
Having sex with a spouse for the sake of just doing it, as a duty, a chore or for a quick release, in a long term monogamous marriage will eventually lead to dissatisfaction, cheating and divorce. As couples grow older together, often times the sex in the marriage becomes boring to the point where the couple is no longer that interested. In the past where youthful hormones and passion just took over, as couples stay in long term marriages the sex has to continue to be satisfying.
Many studies suggest that having regular sex can be good for a persons health, but the reality is sex without orgasm or sex out of duty can have the opposite effect.
A report done in 1976 in Psychosomatic Medicine concluded that an inability to reach orgasm may have a negative impact on women’s hearts.
“A Swedish study found increased risk of death in men who gave up sexual intercourse earlier in life. The research was done on four hundred elderly men and women. At age seventy they were given a survey of their sexual activity and then followed over time. Five years later the death rates were significant higher among men who ceased sexual activity at earlier ages. (Quoted from Dr. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. In his book The Brain in Love)”
For both men and women the health benefits of having intimate, satisfying sex is what relieves stress and creates the loving connection that keeps the couple bonded and coming back for more. For many couples that have unsatisfying sex it can have the opposite effect, causing frustration, loneliness, not feeling good about oneself and unable to release the powerful hormones that produce the loving feelings towards one another.
For some women they can be in marriages where sex causes frustration and lack of desire if they are unable to have an orgasm, or have hormone issues where they don’t get aroused before intercourse. Why would a person want to have repeated sex without orgasms year after year? Unfortunately both men and women don’t take this into consideration. For a man not having an orgasm for years he would find unimaginable, yet many women are faced with this in their marriage for years……
For some men as they age their desire for sex can decrease as well, with having to ask for sex from their wives, or the sex is no longer exciting. Perhaps his wife is not having orgasms and he feels that he cannot please her anymore. For many men that reach their 40’s and 50’s it takes more mental stimulation to get an erection and keep one. This is no different then what women experience most of the time, and that is the mental stimulation before intercourse. The ability to arouse the mind before even getting into the act of sex and that the sex be intimate sex. Anyone can engage in “sex” but having the connection of intimate sex is what bonds the couple together.
The solution to the sex starved marriage is to be proactive, and get help before it becomes too late. Talk about it with a with ways to improve the intimacy in the marriage. One way to get started is with sensual massage, without the pressure of intercourse, touching and learning about each others bodies again. Another solution is making the time to have more intimate sex rather than hurrying to get it over with.
Most parents are apprehensive about telling their children information concerning sex and sexual development. They often times will not say anything for fear that it may cause their teen to be sexually active at an early age, but statically this is far from the truth!
The problem with that theory, is by the time parents think children are old enough to know the information concerning sex, they have already learned it from the computer, television or the neighborhood kid.
The best way to teach children about sex is to start answering their questions about their body when they are young.……..
For some people this may sound alarming but put into the most basic terms it is a natural way to slowly break the ice and make it comfortable for both a parent and child to be open with each other instead of them feeling like they can’t speak with a parent.
When adults are armed with the proper information from a clinical sexologist, or sex educator, or have gotten help for themselves then they can be more pro-active with their children. What is most disturbing are the issues that could have been prevented with a parent allowing the child to feel open enough to speak with them about sex. For some people the curiosity as a youth and not being open and able to talk to speak about it with their parents can lead them into getting into more trouble. Children are curious and will go to great lengths sometimes, especially as they develop into teenagers, exploring sexual outlets for that reason alone. Some get involved in situations or do things that can affect them for the rest of their lives, when it could have been prevented with proper sex education. Some even develop sexual issues into adulthood, along with sexual trauma, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, erectile dysfunction, and negative views about their bodies.
What stage of development is it appropriate to speak with children about their body and sex?
The first stage is when they begin to be curious about their own body or a parents body.. When they ask a question about their penis or vulva, a parent should answer it with the correct terminology. This is a “penis” and this is a “vulva.” The parent does not have to go into detail, just simply answer the question. If they touch themselves in front of the parent, don’t freak out, because it is normal for children to touch themselves and be curious, just like they enjoy picking their nose and eating their boogers….It feels good to pick their nose and the boogers are interesting to look at and play with. This applies to their penis and vulva, if they are touching themselves in public, the parent may want to say “You know how it not alright to pick your boogers in front of others, but you can do it in your room or bathroom, you can touch and explore your own body that way too.” —-Going into more detail is not necessary, simply answer that question.
When a girl reaches an age of more understanding and this can be differ from child to child, they may ask mommy or see mommy have her period (menstruation). This is a time when the parent can explain in simple terms, that women bleed once a month and sometimes it can make mommy a little emotional or crabby but also it is a wonderful thing that happens when a little girl ages and turns into a teenager. Give the child information that is correct without having to go into detail or make a big deal about it. If she asks more question then answer them, that is how a parent can understand when their child is ready to learn the information, simple questions, short answers, they will ask if they want more detail. This is a way for a parent and a child to have open lines of communication surrounding their body.
When parents talk openly with children at a young age then children are less curious and can feel comfortable about asking mom or dad instead of the school kids. When watching television with kids and they see something that they don’t understand, then sitting with them and asking them what they want to know is another way to open the lines of communication without it feeling forced. Most children will feel comfortable asking if they feel that mom or dad is open and willing to answer…..…When answering always remember to be honest, brief and positive, allowing them to continue to ask what they want to know.….One day they may want to know how they were born and a parent can feel comfortable with the conversation and not make it into the “big sex talk”…since they already know about their body parts by name and function.
Once they hit puberty they will know what is happening to their bodies as they go through the changes of childhood to adulthood. Speaking to them about condoms, birth control, and the risks involved in having sexual relationships with others, they will know how to protect themselves. Statics show that the more curious a child is about sex the sooner they will have it, the less curious, they are and already informed and armed information, they don’t have to search it out in an unhealthy way. Arm children with knowledge and that will be their best protection against unwanted pregnancy, sexual trauma, and getting an STD, HP V, or AIDS’s……
One last bit of advice for parents, is that in school and educational programs they have given youth the idea that AIDS is no longer a real threat, putting more teens and young adults at risk for contracting HIV! Remember there is no cure as of yet, for AIDS only prevention, pills and a slow painful death!
Statics From the CDC
HIV and AIDS Diagnosesc and Deaths Among Youth (Aged 13-24)
An estimated 10,456 youth were diagnosed with HIV infection in the United States and six dependent areas in 2011, representing 21% of an estimated 50,199 people diagnosed during that year.
Seventy-eight percent (8,140) of these diagnoses occurred in those aged 20 to 24, the highest number and population rate of HIV diagnoses of any age group (36.3 new HIV diagnoses/100,000 people).
By the end of 2010, of the estimated 39,035 youth living with diagnosed HIV infection in the United States and 6 dependent areas: An estimated 27,621 HIV diagnoses were among young men. Of these, 77% of HIV diagnoses were attributed to male-to-male sexual contact and 13% to perinatal exposure.
An estimated 11,413 HIV diagnoses were among young women. Of these, 56% were attributed to heterosexual contact and 34% to perinatal exposure.
In 2011, an estimated 3,004 youth in the United States and six dependent areas were diagnosed with AIDS, a number that has increased 29% since 2008.
By the end of 2010, an estimated 11,731 youth with an AIDS diagnosis had died in the United States and six dependent areas since the HIV epidemic began.
Can you imagine a marriage filled with passion, love, friendship, intimacy, sex, vigor, vitality?
All you have to do is take the 6 week challenge.
What is the catch?
There is one, you both have to want to do it!
You both have to be committed to the process, and put your marriage first!
Is this really possible you may be wondering?
Yes it is possible, and I have helped many couples have deeper intimacy in their relationship, passion and fun, through intimacy counseling!
This is the sex education that you wish you learned in school. Couples learn about their bodies, in a new way, as the body ages, sex, sexuality and drive change as well. Where men want it all the time in their 20’s and 30’s, as they age, it becomes the quality not the quantity, they crave the intimacy with their wives, the variety, the fun, but they don’t know how to get it. Women often times just have sex to get it over with, or feel like it is a chore, perhaps they enjoy it but not like they used too or they really want it but don’t know how to tell their husbands what they need. Believe it or not women have been wanting intimate sex for years, and most have given up by the time their husbands decide that they want it…….Why does this happen to so many couples over time?
Mother Nature takes over, and deals her deck of cards with no rules or instructions, so what couples did in their 20’s they are attempting to do in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s!!!!! Yes even couples in the later years can have amazing passion for each other, if they only knew how…
We go to doctors to heal us from injuries, illness, diseases, cancer, disabilities, but after the treatment is done, we are left with, an unsatisfying sex life, confusion, told to go to therapy or to just get over it…..wrong! My motto is everyone deserves to have a healthy sex life! Intimacy counseling teaches couples how to have intimate sex with each other in a new way….
Welcome to the future of great passionate sex, where you go to a session and have fun, learn about the body, arousal, desire, how to have a connection with each other again. There is no pressure to perform or get it right, it is about letting go and enjoying each other, learning about each other, touching, kissing, and finding new erotic zones, with fun home assignments.
Look around and you will see some of your friends who may be acting more loving towards each other, or still have that passion, and you wonder why?
“The Five Sex Positions Women Enjoy Most”. Using my completely, totally unscientific research methods*, I have compiled a list of the Five sex positions women enjoy most. Each will explain the mechanics of the position, interesting facts, what makes this position enjoyable and tips for making it more enjoyable for both of you. Whenever possible, quotes from my research subjects will be sprinkled throughout. Be sure to read the companion series, “The Five sex positions men enjoy most”.
1 – 69 Position
The mechanics. In the 69 position one partner lays on their back while the other straddles in the opposite direction, placing face to genitals in both cases. This position can also achieved with both partners on their sides. While penile penetration cannot be achieved from this position, both partners can enjoy in a variety of oral and manual stimulation. One reader from Franklin stated, “I love 69 because it is the ultimate equalizer-whatever I can do to him, he can do to me”.
Interesting facts. Participants of 69 resemble the numbers 6 and 9, hence the name “69”. They also resemble the Yin and Yang symblos. The French term for this position is “soixante-neuf”.
What makes this position enjoyable. The act of giving and receiving at the same time is a major selling point of this position. Traditionally, the woman is on top for this position. A lot of women find it very gratifying having her genitals completely exposed to her partner. “Nothing is hotter than knowing he has my p*ssy spread open and exploring it with his tongue, lips and fingers” said another reader.
How to make 69 more enjoyable. Discuss ahead of time where ejaculate is to go. There is no bigger turn off to a woman than an unexpected-and unwelcomed-surprise. To avoid kinked necks, you may want to a couple of pillows handy in case either of you needs a little added support. You can also roll onto your sides and use each others’s thighs as support.
*Research methods include: email conducted interviews, reading men’s magazines and websites, personal experience and medical journals.
2 – Kama Sutra, 69
The mechanics. In the Kama Sutra, 69 position one partner lays on their back while the other straddles in the opposite direction, placing face to genitals in both cases. This position can also achieved with both partners on their sides. While penile penetration cannot be achieved from this position, both partners can enjoy in a variety of oral and manual stimulation.
Interesting facts. In the Kama Sutra, 69 is called “Congress of the Crow”. Pornographic movies would have you believe that 69 is taking place in every bedroom in America, however, that is not the case. A reader from Yellow Springs told me, “As much as I enjoy giving and receiving during 69, it is just too darn distracting! I am worried that in the heat of the moment I may lose control and accidentally bite her.”
What makes this position enjoyable. The act of giving and receiving at the same time is a major selling point of this position. Traditionally, the woman is on top for this position as she is usually the lighter partner. A reader from Centerville told me this position scores high because it is “Literally up front and in your face. There is nothing hotter than having her package right in your face where you can see, touch, taste and smell every inch of her”.
How to make 69 more enjoyable. Discuss ahead of time where ejaculate is to go. There is no bigger turn off to a woman that a mouthful of your cum sprayed down the back of her throat when she had other plans for it. The same can be said for “facials”. If you are worried about losing control and possibly hurting your partner, begin with gentle mutual stimulation but as things heat up, take turns giving and receiving pleasure. At the very least, remove your mouth from any tender parts when approaching an orgasm.
3 – Belly Down
The mechanics. The belly down position has the woman lying on her stomach with her partner penetrating her from behind. She raises her hips slightly. This position is essentially doggy style flattened out.
Interesting facts. If you are interested in attempting a g-spot orgasm, this position is the ideal one to try. The head of the penis will directly stimulate the woman’s g-spot. “I never thought I could get off just from intercourse until I tried this. Now it sets me off every time!” exclaimed one interviewee.
What makes this position enjoyable. This position will create a very snug fit, giving both partners more intense pleasure.
How to make the belly down position more enjoyable. Most men don’t realize just how sensitive a woman’s back can be. Be sure to pay extra special attention to the bare skin stretched out before you. “There is something about being so thoroughly dominated that sets my skin on fire” explained another reader.
4 – Missionary Position
The mechanics. The missionary position is a man superior position where the woman lies on her back with her legs spread. Her partner climbs between her legs and penetrates her vagina. Partners face each other while engaging in the missionary position. Many view this position as the “traditional” position for sex. The more sexually adventurous often view the missionary position as “vanilla” or boring.
Interesting facts. It was once believed that humans were the only animals to have sexual intercourse in this position, but studies have also shown that bonobos and gorillas also engage in face to face (MSNBC). Religious figures viewed the missionary position as civilized and other position “bestial”, since those were the positions animals copulated in. Some believed it was the only position that could be used to conceive a child while others thought that “unnatural” positions would create birth defects. If you are trying to conceive, some believe missionary position may be a better position to participate in as the man can penetrate deeply and ejaculate right at the mouth of the cervix (Getting Pregnant Tips).
What makes this position enjoyable. What may seem like a plain position can easily be manipulated into a wide variety of new ones. Props, such as pillows, can add to the variety. As one reader from Miamisburg put it “I like this position because my partner can move her legs into different positions and change how the position feels”. This is also a popular position for men who like to control their lovemaking sessions. “I like missionary because I can control the speed and the rhythm ” chimed in reader from Mason. A third reason why missionary position is popular is the access it allows a man to his partner’s most intimate places. A man can view or touch a woman’s clitoris and breasts. A third reader from Centerville stated “I like missionary because I can see all of her yummy parts”. The missionary position also allows for an amazing amount of skin to skin contact which is a huge turn on for most men.
How to make Missionary more enjoyable.
Slip a pillow under her hips, this will change the angle of penetration and how intercourse feel for both of you. You can also raise her legs, spread them apart or pull them together tightly, have her wrap them around you-each position affords a different series of sensations.
Since missionary allows for so much skin to skin contact, add a little massage oil to your foreplay and enjoy a slippery session like you’re never experienced before.
Engage in clitoral stimulation. Don’t just grab for her hot button, ease into it. The clitoris is a highly sensitive bundle of nerves and direct contact with no warm up is extremely jarring to most women.
5 – Lotus
The mechanics. In the lotus position, the man sits cross legged while his partner straddles him. She wraps her legs around his body. Both partners are intertwined and gently rock back and forth.
Intersting facts. This sexual position is derived from the yoga pose of the same name.
What makes this position enjoyable. This position is a pleaser for the closeness it brings.It allows for easy kissing, fondling of the breasts and clitoris. “Wow! Can two people get any closer than this position?” asked/exclaimed one respondent from Springboro.
How to make the lotus position more enjoyable. This position requires some flexibility from both partners, so it is highly recommended you both stretch before trying the lotus position. If possible, take a beginner’s yoga class together. Be sure to take full advantage of the closeness the lotus position brings to sex. Touch, fondle and kiss to your heart’s delight!
Are there sex positions that couples can use to keep from getting pregnant? A sex therapist explains the right – and wrong – ways to go about pregnancy prevention.
There are a lot of myths out there about sex, pregnancy and birth control, and when people accept them as medical fact, they are usually in for a big surprise. A reader named Max, from Dayton, OH, has just such a misconception, as we can see in the following message:
My buddy told me that I can’t get my girlfriend pregnant if we have sex standing up. What other positions are safe?
Well Max, did you also hear that you can get hairy palms from masturbating? I hate to burst your bubble, but when it comes to sex and pregnancy, there is no such thing as a “safe” position. There are lots of rumors floating around out there about having sex standing up, or having the woman on top, among others, but the fact is that you can get pregnant in any position.
I just want to make that clear. When a man ejaculates, he releases about a teaspoon of semen, which contains roughly 200-300 million sperm cells – that’s a lot — and it only takes one of those little guys to get a woman pregnant. Now, most people don’t know this, but you can actually get pregnant without even having penetrative sex. If a man’s penis is rubbed against a woman’s vagina, or if ejaculate is spilled near the vaginal opening, semen can actually find its way in and get a woman pregnant.
Additionally, pregnancy can occur even if a man doesn’t actually ejaculate. When a man gets aroused, he releases tiny drops of semen – which you might know as pre-cum – and that little drop is all it takes to get a person pregnant if the woman’s egg is ready and waiting. So, you can never be too safe. When you’re trying to avoid pregnancy, the only surefire way to stay safe is a position in which all your clothes remain on. That’s right, abstinence is the only 100% guarantee to avoid pregnancy.
That being said, condoms do a pretty good job as well. They are about 99.9% effective IF they are used properly, but there is still that very small risk, so you need to be aware of that going in.
Low sex drive and the pill: When hormonal birth control leads to a sexual slump
“Can the Pill lower your sex drive? I recently switched my prescription, and things have felt a little bit off in the bedroom ever since.”
The answer here is that, yes, in some women, hormonal birth control can absolutely decrease their sex drive and desire; but with others, it may have absolutely no impact whatsoever. This is simply related to the differences in how our bodies respond to certain hormones. Now, if Ashley had no other changes except for the addition of the pill, and that’s right about the time that she noticed this drop in her sex drive, there’s a pretty good chance that’s the culprit. In that case, I would suggest that a woman like Ashley talk to her doctor. She can likely prescribe a low-dose hormone pill that might speed things up in the bedroom and make her feel back to normal.
If, however, a slump like this has been going on for a long time, and maybe the hormones are just aggravating it, it could be a sign that there is an emotional or relationship issue at play, in which case a therapist may be the perfect person to talk to. She might be able to help sort out any issues and figure out what is at the root cause of the low sex drive. Alternatively, women can start by talking to their partners about this problem; they may also have some insight into what the problem is, and they may even be experiencing the same slump. Working together can help couples to brainstorm and figure out how to add some spice back into the bedroom.