Sex up your weekend – Sexologist Dr. Shashank Samak sizzles up your coming together in bed
CASE I – Pritam and Preeti are a couple in their 30s. They are both IT professionals and married for almost four years now. Life is all very fine, just that Preeti works in the morning shift and Pritam’s duty starts at night. So, when Preeti leaves for work Pritam is fast asleep, and by the time Preeti gets home, Pritam has already left for work. Result: They barely get to see each other except on weekends.
Saturdays are mostly spent catching up on the week gone-by – and yes, it starts from the bedroom, more precisely even before they are out of the bed. But Preeti is usually so drained after a hectic week that of late, she has started losing interest in sex. This annoys Pritam to no extent, and the irritation is almost reaching the boiling point. Naturally, it results in frequent fights, putting the relationship on rocky ground.
CASE II – Priya and Prem have similar complaints, the only difference is that Priya is a housewife and Prem has regular office hours. But even after he is home, he continues to spend time on emails, pending office work and other activities online. Priya tries to finish household chores early to keep herself free when husband comes home. But invariably, she tires of waiting for him to get done with his ‘personal’ work and come to bed with her. Prem’s late-night TV addiction doesn’t make matter any less worse. So, the only time the couple gets for themselves is Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings. Even then, the sexual act would be over in minutes, leaving Priya dissatisfied. Prem’s erectile dysfunction is the major reason behind it, though it aggrieves Priya there is little she can do about it.
Such couples are a fact of modern life. Research shows that most of couples in their 30s and 40s have drastically reduced the frequency of their coming together in bed and as such, have also lost rapport with each other leading to the breakdown of the relationship. Sometimes it even leads to looking for companionship outside of marriage. They seldom realize that the root cause of their fight often lies in the overlooked or disturbed sex-life.
TIPS FROM THE TRENCHES
Sex is not just an act but is a relationship between the couple: This is a romantic journey having sexual intercourse as its end-point. But couples forget this basic fact and treat sexual intercourse as the centre point of their sexual relationship. Psycho sexuality of a woman and that of a man are totally different. A woman has basic priority to love and intimacy and a man’s total outlook is sexual intercourse and nothing else. Except probably in the honeymoon period, he never thinks of romance with the wife.
Sex is an exercise :
Medically speaking sex is an intense exercise consuming more than 100 calories at that time.It helps the sexual muscles, the prostate gland, the vaginal health and the heart! It keeps heart muscles healthy and also helps in improving its blood circulation. In fact every sexual act with zeal and zest acts like a natural angioplasty!! .Remember that like any other exercises sexual exercise needs to be performed at least 2 to 3 times a week,to keep oneself sexually fit.
Sex is a stress buster:
It nullifies the stress chemicals produced in the brain due to day to day stress by the production of the oxytocin, endorphins, encephalins and also the hormone prolactin. The latter hormone plays a key role in making that person feel ‘satisfaction’in the sexual act. It is the hormone of ‘satiation’.This makes the person feel happy. Every couple must remember that every sexual act helps them in improving medically by rendering sexual fitness also.
The Pink Goggles :
‘Be Romantic’ is the message to all such week-end couples. Romanticism is nothing but a way of showing interest you have got in your partner to your partner! That is applicable to the couples having arranged marriages also. More than 85% marriages in our society are the arranged marriages. The concept of the companionship love is a must for every couple. This will improve the quality of their relationship. The sexual act becomes more charming if the canvas of the relationship becomes more harmonious. One should start using the Pink Goggles of romanticism in the relationship.
Sex is the only Triple Connection in a couple :
Sex is a connection between those two persons on all three levels,the physical,the emotional and the psychological.Hence it is the most intimate relationship in a couple. Increased frequency of satisfactory sexual activity improves not only the connection between the couple but also enhances the quality of life in general.It also helps in being more productive in the career Irrespective of all the turmoil in life, two things remain constant throughout the couple-life, He and She! Art of intimacy and the understanding in the relationship become a must along with the sexual know-how. Keep going together by moving further with the hand in hand.Instead of a roving eye elsewhere, loving eye in one’s own relationship is the need.It will stop the weekend couples from becoming weak in their relationship. Hence,don’t forget the Pink Goggles!