No longer is sex taboo nor does it carry all the societal stigma that it once use to. From television shows to movies, radio and video, people are increasingly becoming more in tune with their sexuality and opening up about their sexual desires. Bored with “traditional” sex scripts and roles, people are deciding to step outside the boundaries of “regular” sex and opting for something a little more exciting and even risqué. Tapping into your sexuality and exploring your sexual desires can be a very pleasurable and invigorating experience. So if you’re ready to turn it up a notch and unleash the sexual beast within, here are 7 ways to sexperiment to help keep your sex life fresh and interesting!
- Sexual Preferences. Whether you consider yourself to be bisexual, heteroflexible, heterocurious, questioning, just plain ole curious or none of the above, there is fluidity in sexuality. According to Alfred Kinsey, the famous sex researcher, very few of us lie at polar opposites on the sexual continuum from heterosexual to homosexual but rather somewhere in between. Kinsey also goes on to suggest that based on a variety of activities, individuals may move back and forth on the continuum. So based on that theory, there is a natural inclination to “experiment” with ones sexual preferences. Should you decide to experiment with your sexual preferences, make sure you are always honest with yourself and any potential partners.
- Positions. In and out, up and down can get pretty boring after a while. Let’s face it the same old missionary position can become monotonous so many people desire to liven things up by “experimenting” with positions. Kama Sutra is one of the most famous manuals that depicts a variety of usual and even unusual sexual positions with interesting names such as “The Glowing Universe.” Talking about seeing stars! Although many of the positions require Olympic standard flexibility, the fun of it all is just trying new positions!
- Ménage a trios. Proceed with extreme caution! The thought of inviting a third person into your sex play might sound like a great ideal but there are some things to consider before “experimenting” with a ménage. It’s definitely not for the faint at heart! Honesty, trust, communication and caution are just a few things that will help keep this dream from turning into a nightmare. Including a third person between the sheets must be something that all parties willingly negotiate, agree to and are involved in throughout the entire process. If one person in the trio becomes uncomfortable, then do not continue until all parties involved are comfortable and in agreement. No one should be coerced or tricked into participating in a “threesome.” It is important to keep in mind that having a ménage a trois will not solidify or repair a troubled relationship. In most cases, it will have the exact opposite effect and ultimately cause more harm to your relationship. Also, if either you or your partners are prone to jealousy, then a ménage is NOT for you.
- Role play. A role play can be a fun and flirty way to add some excitement to your sexual script! Create the fantasy and act it out! You are only limited by your imagination. “Experiment” with a variety of costumes, scenarios and locations. A naughty school girl can make the boring house wife or busy career woman seem like a brand new woman to her Beloved. FYI, men you can get in to character too! The handy man always fixes a thing or two and the pizza delivery guy knows exactly what to deliver!
- Sex Toys. Who says toys are just for kids?! Well put your money where your mouth is because there is a billion dollar industry, devoted to creating toys just for adults, that says so! From vibrators to dildos, anal beads to sex swings and machines, “experimenting” with sex toys can be just what the doctor ordered to help spice up your sex life. With so many adult novelties on the market, one could literally create the playground of their dreams! If you want to get really creative, you can actually make your own sex toys by using common items found around your house. That old hairbrush in your bathroom drawer can now become a whip to tame your lover.
- Kink. 50 Shades of Grey introduced “kinky sex” to the masses and now it has become mainstream, making it the “in thing.” Flocks of people are rushing out to their local adult novelty store to pick up a grey tie, a pair of hair cuffs and a crop in an effort to imitate the infamous Christian Grey. But before you go all in on the great BDSM “experiment,” it is very important that you understand the rules of “play” and have a safe word and/or signal just in case things become too intense. Remember the golden rule when it comes to kink is to keep it safe, sane and consensual. Never engage in any BDSM activities with someone that you have not established a trusting relationship with.
- Sensory deprivation. Blindfold, tie me up and gag me! Take away one of the senses and the others will heighten. Falling under the umbrella of kink, sensory deprivation is a way to increase sexual arousal and intensify the orgasmic experience by depriving one or more of the senses. Warning! You must be very careful when “experimenting” with sensory deprivation because you could really hurt yourself or someone else, especially in the case of erotic asphyxiation. Sensory deprivation is not for everyone so before you begin restraining or pouring hot candle wax on your Beloved, you should definitely have a conversation with him or her. The use of a safe word or signal is important in any sensory deprivation play.
While exciting as it may be, sexperimenting does not come without some varying degree of risk. There are still some things to consider when deciding to experiment with sex. Some things to keep in mind are:
- Practice safer sex, especially with multiple partners or non committed relationships. This helps to reduce the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy.
- Consider the emotional, physical, social, spiritual, legal and economical consequences of sex. Although one can never be thoroughly prepared at least take into consideration what can happen.
- Bruises and marks. Sexperimenting, particularly with kink, can sometimes leave bruises and marks on the body. Trust me, you do not want to have to wear a long sleeve shirt in the middle of summer or risk explaining to your coworkers why you have handcuff marks on your wrist!
Sexperimenting can be extremely fun but just how far you decide to take it is really up to you (and your partner). You can choose to jump right in or just simply ease your way into the “sex lab.” Whatever you decide, it is important to always be open and honest with yourself and others as this will help to minimize risk of injury and hurt to all involved. If all things have been considered, discussed and agreed upon then you are all ready to go!
Happy sexperimenting!
